thinking 

Rumination

ru·mi·na·tion n. obsessive or abnormal reflection upon an idea or deliberation over a choice

I am miserable
that much I know
but this feeling
inside me
continues to grow
unlike roses
which bloom and die
only in
three days time
More like weeds
firmly implanted
out of control
& dearly enchanted
[it is] possessing my thoughts
and movements
I am caught
in my fantasies
which interrupt
[my] life on a daily
as I lie here
without
physical motion
poured over
my body
is the sweetest
lo00ve potion
& in my attempt
to minimally describe
it loses much of
its powerful vibe

How do I deal
with the anguish
of knowing
that I must reap
what had been sewing
when I
saw u
smiled at u
called u
laughed with u
chilled with u
rode with u
touched u
rode on u
was
enamored with u
felt by u
guided by u
excited by u
adored by u
enticed by u
seen by u
feenin 4 u
still I dream
of you
& the possibility
of it ever
meaning to be
a simplistic reality
just
indulge yourself
in all of me
we can fulfill
eachother’s
every need
come and be
my anchor,
please.

If it is fate
I understand
I must wait
cause love knows
no hour
& true love
doesn’t sour
my real love
lasts forever
a deeper love
u’ll find
never
this magnetic love
keeps u near
our prophetic love
have no fear
the best
is to happen yet
unfathomable
like
when we first met
unbelievable
to one another
inconceivable
for all the others
who could
imagine me
being like this
suffering from
mere hypothetical
bliss.

Can I
join u
hand in hand
heart to heart
woman & man?
Complete me
not that I
wasn’t whole
delve into
me spiritually,
& enrapture
my soul
Alleviate
all this pain
& ameliorate
the heavy rain
that has
inundated my brain
returning me
insane
You have much
to lose
we have everything
to gain.